Who knew that a damn toy could make a mother wish her innocent precious child knew Santa wasnt real! Look at what this thing has done to me!!! I am the grinch!

Ya know, last year I forgot to move the friggin elf like 5 different times. Do you know how hard it is to explain to a child why the elf didn't move during the night...again. And again. And again! Lying is a lot harder than it looks. And I'm not very good at it when I am on the spot. Like I cant lie. I just stand there with a puzzled look on my fac.

Kid: "Owwwww the elf didnt move!"...

Me:... in a high pitched voice "ummmm wow. Hmm... um. Maybe you should go take a nap real quick and he will move!"

This toy just reminds me what a shitty parent I am!!! The elf's little antics start off fun and elaborate. He will make a snowman out of toilet paper or write on the bathroom mirror with shaving cream. But by day 10 I have given up on life and he will hide in the tree or on top of the fridge. Hahahaha ahhhh I am shitty. Wheres my wine?