Urgh I think I need to go dr as I think I’m suffering from anxiety iv been thinking it for a while but again lately iv been restless and finding it hard to sleep, and then when my partner goes work and I wake up I find it hard to go back to sleep again. I find myself panicking and sometimes I don’t even know why. I over think things way to much

And sometimes I feel a burst of anger.

I find myself having to force myself to go out but anxious about doing so specially with the way the kids can behave ( I have almost 2 year old twins) sometimes I fear them kicking off and when it does happen I feel like I’m being stared at constantly and judged think the only group I don’t feel like that is twin group and I think that’s only cuz they completely get it on them terms. Feeling like I anit good enough for the twins.

Feeling anxious about Xmas and their birthday and stuff. My Nan passed away suddenly this year the day after my twins 1st birthday ( I feel anxious that now that is all my twins birthday will remind people of is this sad time coming and not the fact my twins was born selfish ? and this is the first Christmas without her and that is where we all spent Christmas is at hers and she was the glue and heart of the family. Among other things like the fact I was sexually assaulted when I was a child by my uncle the only other person who knows is my partner and I only told him a few years into the relationship because was coming between our sex life. And now I feel I have re opened the wound and I keep getting flash backs of it all and once again it is affecting us my sex drive is basically non existent. Reason my mum don’t know is cuz I know what she is like I don’t wanna be the one to rip the family apart and I guess a little of me is like will she even believe it. And I just feel like it’s all on a loop in my head.

I even feel anxious about going dr and saying that I think I have anxiety incase they don’t take me seriously or say their isn’t much they can do. Stupid ai