Yall. If this isnt my month imma lose it

I've been TTC for more than 8 yrs ( 5 with my fiance) . it just hasn't happened yet. My fiance is a twin and his twin brother just found out him and his gf are expecting which really puts pressure on me because me and her always talked about having a child together ya know. So I feel that the pressure is over the Moon and its sad because the pressure is mainly coming from me.( I also feel like I'm pressuring hubby more than ever) I don't wanna say im jealous butttt I kinda am but I know its not right. All I want is to be able to give my hubby a child ( he has 1 daughter before me) and raise our babies together (me and my sis n law) I've started opks , Geritol , preseed and all. This is my first month trying Geritol and I'm so nervous that if this doesn't work then I may be really infertile😭😭😭😭😭 I want a Christmas baby so bad y'all. That would be the most precious gift ever. . the unconditional love his daughter has for me makes me cry sometimes because she's so innocent and sweet. I want that same love from my own creation too. I wanna know how it feels coming from my seed though.I hOpe this is my month😢