Should i keep it a secret??

Question

I've been with my husben 13 yrs and  my marriage ain't perfect we had some up and downs thru out everything .lately I was feeling distant frm him didn't feel sexually attracted to him. So I had a affair with someone we did have sexual relationship and we didn't use protection now I think I'm mite be pregnant and if I am should I shut my mouth and pass it off like its my husben or should I say anything to the guy I slept with .plz no rude comments you don't know how ugly I feel about this and my stupidity took over .plz someone

Accepted Answer

Hey sugar, we all make mistakes, what's done is done.

First of all, find out if you're pregnant.

Second, do a genetic test to establish paternity - you can actually do this really early on.

Third, Decide on whether or not you should tell your husband about the affair. No one can tell you what to do but if its not his, imo, he has a right to know. Healthy relationships are built on trust and forgiveness but understand that telling him may end the relationship.

Answer

I have a friend who just found out after almost 30 years that the man she thought was her father is not. She was devestated, and had a serious identity crisis. Thankfully that story has ended well, and she has a great relationship with her biological dad and half siblings. But there was so much hurt and broken trust. It wasn't worth keeping a secret. And I'm sure it ate her mom up inside that whole time as well.

Answer

If you are pregnant and there is a possibility the baby isn't his, you cannot lie to him and tell him otherwise. That is unfair to everyone in the situation- your husband, the (possible) bio dad, and the child.

Answer

I wouldnt lie i would tell your husband the truth and tell the man whos it may be they both deserve the truth!

Answer

It's time to come clean if you are in fact pregnant and there is a chance you could be pregnant by your affair partner. That is, If you intend on continuing the pregnancy. If you are going to terminate and want to continue your marriage, you should keep it all to yourself as a very big mistake that you made and consider bearing the weight of the secret as your penance. 
If you are pregnant and planning on keeping the child, you owe it to your child to find out his or her parentage and then be upfront with the involved parties.  
If you aren't pregnant, I'd keep it to yourself if you want to stay in your marriage. 
Once you find out whether or not you're pregnant, you should probably try to seek some sort of counseling or therapy to figure out where you want to go next.  Good luck.

Answer

The truth will come out or lying will destroy your relationship. I couldn't lie to my husband about something as big as that, that's worse than the affair.

Answer

Wow.. I'll try to make this as nice as possible.. First off cheating is b.s... Your husband didn't deserve that! If you're not happy with him then get a divorce! 
Either way you have to tell him what you did.. And if he loves you and decided to forgive you then you're lucky.. 
Break it off with the "bf" asap because if your husband finds out before you tell him then he definitely won't be happy about it.. 
I honestly hope you're not pregnant so that an innocent child doesn't have to be brought into a world with cheating all around!
Again sorry if it sounds mean.. But it's you're own fault..

Answer

Maybe you should wait until you take a pregnancy test?  You should be honest with your husband about the affair, but why give him extra to react to if you aren't even pregnant. And... I think you are forgetting that you can get more than pregnant from unprotected/casual sex. For your health, the health of your husband, and the baby you might be carrying, you should visit your doctor and get std testing.

Answer

You should first find out if you are actually pregnant, but regardless your husband needs to know you were unfaithful to your relationship. You are human and make mistakes, but so is your husband and he deserves to know what is going on. Best of luck!

Answer

I think if it's me, I would have to tell him everything. I don't know if you feel guilty now, but you can't have guilt or regret eating you up for the rest of your life. That will destroy your mental health and relationship if you always feel you're keeping a secret.

Should i keep it a secret??

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