Been having good days but now that I broke down I hate what I’ve become

I’ve been having some good times without breaking down or my anxiety taking over. But a few weeks ago something happened. I don’t know what it is but I find myself getting high or physically harming myself because it feels like my world is caving in and no one can see it. In the last four weeks I found myself doing coke (1st time doing it but find myself doing it more and more), weed, acid (for the 1st time I will never do it again) and lots of alcohol. Now I’m sitting here sober thinking about what I’ve been doing and I’m hating myself. I’m posting this anonymously because I don’t need coworkers that may use this app to see it but I’m only 24 I don’t want my life to be filled with drugs to keep me getting through my days.