What helped you get through?

Question

Just got confirmation that I am miscarrying..I'm completely devastated and need any advise as to how you got through and got back into your daily life. How long did it take for you to return to work? I am a fulltime college student and work 2 jobs I feel like I cant handle going back right away but am not sure what to tell my professors or managers. Just trying to give myself time to heal

Answer

During my miscarriage last week I took 3 days off. I was an emotional wreck and I couldn’t even think about my job, and at that point my miscarriage hadn’t even been confirmed. Take as much time as you need. I can honestly tell you that because I took a few days to cry and complain to my man and my friends, I already feel better today (I got confirmation this morning of my miscarriage). It’s different for everyone, so do what you need to do girl. And know that you have support.

Answer

I’m really sorry 😔. It really depends on you. Everyone deals with things different. What helped me was to keep busy, organised to see my friends, spend precious time with family. If I didn’t have them I wouldn’t of got through it & my amazing husband. We booked a holiday, a few months after, gave us something to focus on, look forward too & also give my body time to recover.
We also had 2 weddings in the coming months, I was bridesmaid for both. So I said to myself after the weddings we would try again. Which  was around 6 months after. Anyways turned out I was pregnant at both weddings 😂. 
I am not 14 weeks pregnant, after 2 scans everything is looking well. 
Keep positive, it will happen, just give your body time, enjoy time out. You can do this girl. Wish you all the best in the future xxx

Answer

After my first one, I had to just continue life because I have my son and had to be okay to watch him. Like keep him entertained all day.. I couldn’t cry a lot... 24/7 😔 & after my second one I went to school the next day. Idk it’s just me, but I couldn’t stay home and cry. I know it happens unfortunately. Both times were upsetting so I cried for a day, but I was okay after.

Answer

I am still muddling through my first pregnancy/miscarriage so I am by no means recovered. But, I will share with you my experience thus far and what has helped. 
1. Cry. Just cry and let it lot. I have screamed, slammed doors, and thrown things out of frustration because my miscarriage experience has gone one for over a month now. Something I realized is that strong people cry and release emotions rather than hold on to them. Weak people hide everything and carry the burden until they break down. I have cried at home, in public, in the car, in the doctors office, in the shower, at work...everywhere. Friends hug me and tell me how sorry they are and how it hurts them that I’m hurting. My husband cries with me. My doctor got teary and told me about her miscarriage. At first it seems pathetic but then you realize that you aren’t the only one who thinks this is a big deal and it really helps to take some of the burden of this pain off your shoulders by sharing it with those who care about you (and even with strangers who stop you and ask why you’re crying...yup that has happened to me twice and it was actually soooo kind of the people who stopped me on the street). 
2. Just be honest with school and work. Honesty has made it so that I can take time off from work without losing my PTO. If you tell your teachers and bosses what is going on they may give you extensions for assignments and tests and paid time off to heal. This is a very real loss and you will be surprised how many people respect it as such. 
3. Find something creative to express yourself and release these emotions into something tangible. I taught myself to knit in about 20 minutes and made a little baby hat with rainbow yarn. It took me two days to complete the project but I was just waiting to miscarry so it gave that waiting period some purpose. I also designed, sketched (and then got) a tattoo to memorialize my first baby and my first loss. 
4. Memorialize your baby in some way. It was real. You bonded to it. It’ll help give you closure to have some piece of something as a memory. For me, it was my tattoo. I love my tattoo. Every time I see it it’s a reminder of the joy that our first pregnancy gave us. It also reminds me of the pain we have shared which has brought us so much closer together. 
Everyone copes differently but you do need to take time off and take care of yourself. Watch mindless TV, take lots of warm bubble baths, get a pedicure. I tend to isolate myself when I am sad but some people prefer to be around others. Just do whatever works best for you, but definitely take time away from the daily grind. You have been shattered and you need some time to focus on you and put the pieces back together 💕
Message me if you ever need to talk.

What helped you get through?

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