Wanting our rainbow baby

Soo it fill you in, I was 6 weeks pregnant and started bleeding... confirmed miscarriage and ended up having to have a dnc in June of this year. Waiting for that period to come and my ob said we can start to try again... one month later I got a positive pregnancy test. Went and had my hcg levels tested... not pregnant

My levels were around 360, tested one week later 114, next week 70 and so on. 5 weeks later... my levels are around 11. My body is holding onto that pregnancy

Well.... I stopped everything- worrying, tracking and getting my labs done.

Forward to this month. I had a normal period again ... and decided to buy ovulation tests, we are currently 3 days past ovulation and I’m really trying to not allow it to get to my head.

We want this baby so bad but at the same time don’t know how to handle this waiting game and feeling of defeat and feeling broken

Anyone have some advice for me?