Help a girl out

I am a 15 year old girl. I will be honest, I am a reasonable weight, I am happy with the way I look. I have kissed about 5 guys. But this is where my problem comes in. I had my first kiss in February. But this passed week I have kissed about 4 guys. I have been sobbing. But tonight I have realized what is the underlying problem. My one friend came to realization and told me the reason I keep hooking up with different guys and giving myself a bad reputation is because of my insecurities. She tells me how I really don’t need reassurance but if I am being real I feel I do need it. As I sit here sobbing and writing this. I really need some help. How can I feel better about this. I feel I cannot speak to my mom. I need some opinions. I am leaving for a holiday. I will be leaving all my friends and being with my family. I think it is what I need. I think I should go see a psychologist when I come back. Please can someone reply to this, I am feeling very suicidal