i had a dream last night with my dad in it, which is a normal occurrence considering he died when i was 9 years old. usually they’re about before he died, but this one was different.

in this dream i was my current age, and he was ALIVE. i didn’t know he was alive though. the basic plot was that my mom had lied to me about him dying and that they had only separated. and when he came back into our lives, i’m obviously very happy and upset all at the same time. and when my dad found out my mom lies about him dying, he decides it’s best for me to live with him and the rest of the dream is them fighting over me.

the elaborate explanation is that i was sitting in my living room, watching television when i heard a door open. my mom wasn’t home so i got worried and looked towards my front door. my dad came walking in and i started having a breakdown. i yelled at him that he was dead and that he wasn’t real. i thought i was losing my mind. it took him a while to explain and prove it was actually him, and then he asked me why i thought he had died. i told him momma had told me he died of cancer when i was 9. my dad gets livid and starts searching the house, and then he goes on a rant to me about how he’s upset with how my mom is raising me and the “conditions” our home is in and how it’s influencing me. my mom comes home and sees him and panics, then they get into a fight. i’m still crying.

the scene changes and we’re (my parents and i) at some sort of parade. my mom is telling me bad lies about my dad trying to get me to hate him and my dad is doing the same to get me to hate her. in the end, they were forcing me to make a choice. mom, or dad?

then, i woke up.

i don’t understand at all what it could mean. my dad and mom in real life had the most happy marriage you could imagine. they weren’t themselves in my dream, and it confused me all the more.