I’m feeling like such a bad mom lately. We’ve had a lot going on this year and Sometimes I feel like my 7 year old is getting the short end of the stick.

In May I got a job that required me to work nightshift (3pm to 4am M-F) so I spent most of his summer break just sleeping and working. (It was a manual labor job and I quit in August)

I found out in August I was pregnant and we haven’t been able to rough house like we used to. Then I had a 2nd trimester miscarriage in November (2days before thanksgiving) and it broke his little heart ,on top of that we still can’t play like we used to. Any time he and his dad start to wrestle he remains me that I’m still healing and they don’t need to be jumping on me.

We’ve also been dealing with a shitton of debt this year and have had to cut back on a lot of stuff.It’s so bad that our families our buying his Christmas while we try and get caught up.

We weren’t able to take a family vacation this year, we weren’t able to decorate for Halloween, and we currently don’t even have a Christmas tree.

This week was the week for Santa shop at his school, which I forgot about so everyone in his class got to see Santa and buy something but him.

He’s growing up and it’s one of the last years that he’s going to believe in Santa and see everything as magical and I can’t even make it magical. I know these are are materialistic things but they’re importantly him and memories that he’s going to have and I feel like I’m letting him down.