I’ve said it a million times, I know, I work in sales for one of the top banks in the US. I am very good at my job. I’ve been recognized as a top performer for all three quarters this year. I sell literal circles around my teammates. I’ve been promoted 4 times this year. I’m currently one of 4 coaches training 13 new associates. Two are women, one man. All the women including myself have trained other classes in the past, this is the mans first class. I’ve worked with said bank for 9 years. Woman 1: 5 years. Woman 2: 4 years. Man: 18 months.

We are having problems with the man. He is super aggressive. He will challenge things we say in front of the class. He gives them too much information and sometimes wrong information that confuses them. 10 of the 13 have complained to me about him. They have said they don’t want direct coaching with him, they were confused by things he’s told them, they aren’t learning from him, one even cried out of frustration. He either doesn’t answer the question they had, or answers wrong. To be honest, he exhausts me every day. You could say ‘good morning’ to him and he will respond ‘of course it’s a good morning why wouldn’t it be a good morning why would you even point that out?’ I have a lot of admin work to do to keep the class running but I can’t trust him to speak to the class alone so I’m not as focused on what I should be because I’m babysitting him. I also have to be a clean up crew and follow up with every associate he speaks to to make sure they’re not confused and he actually answered their question accurately. I’m doing all of my work, and then checking and correcting his.

I’ve tried coaching him, giving him a compliment sandwich (you did this really great, you have some room to improve there, but this was excellent) being direct, joking, being serious, basically every communication technique I’ve ever known, I’ve tried. Nothing seems to be getting through to him. He blames everyone else for his short comings. To be honest he reminds me of my ex husband and my abusive ex step father. I’m pretty sure he just hates women and it drives him crazy that he’s not in charge of us. I’m wondering at this point why he’s even a part of this coaching team. My fellow coaches feel the same way.

Monday I have a meeting with basically the manager of the coaches and all 4 coaches. I want to voice my (and my associates/fellow coaches) frustration. But I’m anxious about 2 things. 1. I don’t want to be labeled as overly emotional/dramatic and 2. I don’t want to be labeled as a bitch. Although....

I love my job. But I dread going to work knowing I have an entire day of arguments ahead of me. I want to turn up on his ass but that would be counterproductive considering how close I am to another career opportunity, he isn’t worth it.

But I do need to get this fucker away from me and walk away without tarnishing my own brand.

This leads me to my poll. Do you think women are unfairly labeled as emotional/dramatic/bitchy when dealing with a difficult situation? Or am I overthinking it?