Abortion: UPDATED #2!!!

So my bf and I have been together since September of this year. 6 weeks after meeting we found out we were pregnant. Discussed reasons for a abortion and I felt we were in no position to make that sacrifice.. fast forward 4 more weeks we find out we are expecting mono mono twins. The survival rate is 50% for both twins. There is high risk of plenty of other complications along the way and thereafter. One twin already shows a grim developmental progress.. looking at it from a mature standpoint.. I am in no position to be welcoming in another child. I have a 10 year old and He has 6y/0 twins already really trying to weigh all the options and all possible outcomes.. yes I’ve wanted another baby for years however I had given that up considering my marriage had ended. He leans towards abortion and while I’ve always been against it myself I’m honestly considering it and it makes my heart so heavy thinking about it but I honestly would be fooling myself if I thought I could provide everything this baby or babies are going to need. Now i understand conception and childbirth is the greatest miracle. I understand I should be considered lucky that god chose me to be a mom again but is it really a blessing or is this the enemy working in an area of my life that has been touchy..? I’m 9 weeks now and I know my time is running out to make the tough decision.. hS anyone made the choice to terminate? Did you regret it or was it worth it? did you have complications? Was it painful? He has said he would step up and be responsible about our situation but I would hate for him to be resentful of me keeping a baby that I prayed for for years on end and 4 miscarriages later..

Here is my ultrasound at 8 weeks 5 days. And we can see clearly there’s a runt bean

Update update: after three carefully studied ultrasounds and many “second opinions” I’m expecting one baby and they didn’t see sign of ever being twins. They think it was the cord bunched up and the blood flow that was pulsing.. now having this news and it being one and just a healthy ONE I can handle this even if I do it without him (which he wouldn’t do) but my mind is made up to keep the baby and carry this out.. he’s an amazing father already to his 2 little girls and seeing him with them on. Christmas just made my heart melt. Like literally I cried over it and no one knew why lol.. I can’t imagine how much more infatuated I will be with him once I see him with our little rainbow baby! Blessing to this little family that keeps on growing !!