I know you're on your way. I've already had a few days that have been harder than others. I know the big hit is coming soon. I know that I'm going to struggle. But depression did you know that, no matter how much I may struggle with you round this time of year, I'm still going to get up every morning? Not because I want to, you knock me down so hard that sometimes it's hard to breathe, never mind do anything else. No, I'm going to get up, and smile, and continue my daily routines, and muddle through each day wanting to just cry, because of my boys.

I will keep going for my wonderful partner, who knows I struggle at this time of year, but can't always be with me because of work. Who continues going to work, while I fight with you depression, for our Son. If my partner took the time off then we wouldn't be able to pay bills, or buy food.

I will keep going for my 3 year old Son, who is full of wonder and can't wait for the snow that he doesn't even like. Who asks to go to nursery every morning, even if it's the weekend. Who gives me cuddles when I cry, despite not being a cuddly child.

And I will keep going for my unborn Son. He's due in March, and I already love him. If I can't look after myself while your around depression, then I'm not looking after him.

Certain things have happened recently, that have cracked my walls a little more than usual, which has already let you sneak in more than before. But despite having days where I feel broken, I am still standing. So depression, I know you're there waiting. And I, in turn, am waiting for you.