am I a terrible person?

So my guy best friend has been on and off with liking me as more than just friends forever and this time I like him that way too but everybody in my grade knows it’s a bad idea because he’s kinda a hoe, and talks to a lot of girls.

So yesterday this girl that usually doesn’t like anyone except her popular friends, talked to me about it and said some mean things about him but (I know this is really dumb and I regret it so much and feel like a terrible person) I laughed along because usually she doesn’t like me.

Last night I decided to break it off and not let us go any farther because even though I begged him to not get me anything, he got me a blanket for Christmas but hasn’t given it to me yet and I don’t want it now because it’d make me feel like worse of a person. When I broke it off, he told me he already knew from one of the kids in my class so now i don’t know what the kid told him and feel so bad, and now he seems really sad even though I’m probably more sad for making him sad now! Anyways, I feel like a terrible person and I feel like I should’ve just let us be whatever we were gonna be but then I would’ve gotten hurt anyway so it’s not a win win situation):