We have been together for 7.5 years. We have a 2 year old and a 3 month old together. He's not a bad person, but he's a shitty partner and I'm so tired of being hurt by him and his issues.

I mean, I love this man with every little piece of me. There is pretty much nothing I would not do and nothing I would not do for him. I'd die for him without a second thought.

Let me preface this here and say that he has not cheated on me and he is not abusive. I am not comfortable disclosing the exact nature of our unrest.

Anyway, he has an issue that he is just not fixing and I am so very sick of being hurt by it. I'm tired of feeling okay, just to be bushwacked out of nowhere with this issue and a web of lies. He has promised me that he was working on it and he's lied to me too many times. Even if he is truthful this time, he has violated and broken the trust I had in him. There is only so much I can take.

He has hurt me so much that it is honestly at the point to where if I am hurt and lied to this like again, I'm afraid I will commit suicide. I have already thought about it more than I'd like to admit and I have relapsed into self harm after six years of being clean. And I hate myself for that. Last night I was lying in bed with my kids and one thought was on my mind- You are trapped. Slit your wrists.

The only thing that stopped me was not the will to live, but the fear that my attempt would fail and my children would be taken from me.

He's the only man I have ever been with. He was supposed to be the only one I would ever be with, but I guess shit does not always work out like you want.

I still love him and I have no idea how I am about to support my kids. I'm a stay at home mom right now. My youngest will not take a bottle.

I told him I was leaving him and he begged me to stay. I finally agreed to stay until after New Year's because he is about to have two weeks paid vacation from work and he wants to spend that time with me and the kids. I agreed because I still love him and I don't want to hurt him any more than I have to.

The depression is unreal. I've always been depressed. The feeling of leaving someone I still love and who still loves me and is begging me to stay is the worst feeling I've ever had. I feel like a monster. I'm struggling really hard not to relapse into self-harm. I quit six years ago and until now, I had not thought about it or had the urge.

Everything just feels so hopeless. I'm so tired of giving everything I have to him and him taking my forgiveness and stomping on it by lying to me more. I feel taken advantage of and unloved.