Hi everyone. I felt compelled to write a post for the first time. I went to my 8 week appointment yesterday and the doctor said I was measuring 5 weeks. Honestly, I didn’t see anything on the monitor except for my uterus. We’re doing blood work to see how my hormones are but I can’t help but feel so lonely and devastated that I’ve lost the baby again. I was even put on medical leave right after finding out since my job was too stressful. I ate well, had low stress, did yoga, rested, and enjoyed time with my family.

Backtracking, I had my first miscarriage at 28 years old in June of this year. I went in for my 8-9 week ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. Also had blood work to confirm dropping hcg levels. Also had a D&C after. I remember during that time I was highly stressed and eating poorly. I told myself I’d do things differently the second time around and I did. I got pregnant easily both times.

So now I’m just waiting for blood work. Still a little fatigued, bloated, and breasts still tender. No cramping or bleeding. I feel helpless and it also feels too familiar.

I just can’t help but think that something is wrong with me (or my husband). I never would’ve thought this would happen to me a second time. I thought I’d go on here and find some solace with those who have experienced this kind of grief. Where do I start to even pick up the pieces?

Thanks for listening. ❤️