Am I Being Unfair? Lazy Daddy! 🙊

Question

My fiancé and I live together, have a baby together, and he has a daughter that he has full custody of. 
I’m a little upset with him over finances right now. We have separate bank and I pay more bills than him. He makes $50 more a month than me.
In the last 6 months or so he has not bought hardly anything for either kids. He hasn’t bought any formula, diapers, or wipes. He did buy some clothes several months back for our baby.
He has not bought any Christmas presents for either kids. I dropped $700 on the kids combined and $500 on his presents. He has bought me presents I know but I don’t know how much he’s spent of course. And in November he paid my car insurance for me. 
Otherwise though he only supports himself financially and not me, our baby, or his kid. And not once has he offered to buy formula or diapers. It makes me so mad. I never spend any money on myself because I don’t have any extra but he buys himself food and stuff at work all the time.

Answer

Sounds like it's time to sit down and make a budget together

Answer

You should get a joint account and make a budget combining your finances.  This is what my fiancé and I do.  You both pay equally out of your money and split whatever is left over, or put into savings.

Answer

This is why joint accounts are good. At least. For the bills. A certain amount of each of your incomes should go into an account that you pay bills out of. The left over can go into your own personal account. Problem solved.

Answer

I feel like if you have a child together, are living together, and have a child together...you two should be SHARING your money together. Get a joint bank account and quit with the “my money/his money” stuff. You two should be a team in every aspect including finances. I would have a sit down discussion with him to set guidelines/boundaries for childcare and start working on a budget using BOTH of your money.

Answer

If you’re going to married it becomes BOTH of your money. Whenever one slacks the other picks up. Not to be rude but his daughter is not your daughter and I’m sure you don’t mind buying stuff for her but in the end she’s HIS responsibility. If he knows you spent all your money on stuff then he should be able to cover anything else. I would say sit down and talk and if it’s going to be a fight about you only buying for you and him only buying for him, then I’d consider sharing any type of money or accounts. Money comes and goes

Answer

Girl no, my fiance and I share finances and I'm so grateful for it.

Answer

My husband and I share our finances. Joint account, I do all the budgeting (he's awful at it) to make sure all our stuff gets paid. But our money is 100% eachothers. I dont see my pay cheque as just mine, or his as just his. It's ours. For us and our family. We do have separate saving accounts though.

Answer

Definitely speak up and tell him these feelings! He’s probably clueless, especially if you haven’t spoken to him about budgeting before. That’s a super important topic to be comfortable talking about with your partner too, but be careful with how you approach the conversation! If you initiate the conversation angry or defensive because you have been building up all this frustration, it’s going to he harder to sort things out with him. If he doesn’t want to change his money habits or go over budgeting with you as a couple, I’d say that’s a red flag. But communication is key! Don’t assume he knows what your thinking, guys are dumb haha. Good luck!

Am I Being Unfair? Lazy Daddy! 🙊

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