I had the most easy and uneventful pregnancy, so we were shocked and scared when my water broke at 6pm on Saturday: I woke up from a nap, stood up and heard a "pop". 😧

My husband and I went to labor and delivery at our local hospital and they put me on magnesium to see if they could stabilize me and keep the babies in. Apparently I was having contractions that I couldn't even feel and they hoped to slow them down. My doctor came in and opted to quickly transfer us to another hospital with a Level IV Neonatal Intensive Care Unit case. She wasn't too worried because both babies had lots of fluid and I'd been having such an easy pregnancy but said worst case, I'd deliver tonight, best case, we'd stabilize and we'd go on bed rest to try and keep the babies in as long as possible. She checked my cervix and it was optimistically high and closed.

As soon as they got me in the ambulance for the transfer, my contractions came on hard and strong, increasingly close together. By the time we arrived at the second hospital, I was 5cm dialated and the doctor on call could see baby A's head - "she's got dad's hair!". I was in pain and horrified. This is not what we planned and way too early!! These babies are supposed to come after Christmas!!

I was rushed into an OR with like 20 "close friends" - 2 NICU teams, one for each baby, team ready to operate in case of emergency C-section, an anaesthesia team, etc.

I successfully had a natural vaginal birth and welcomed two 30 week identical twin girls - Willow Alice and Rowan Evelyn - into the world on Sunday 12/9 at 12:23 and 12:30am. They both weighed exactly the same at 3lbs 4oz, came out breathing on their own and crying with strong heartbeats.

I got discharged today but my baby girls are in the NICU and we were so not mentally prepared that this could ever happen to us! They have a great prognosis and are getting excellent care but I can't help breaking down crying at least 3x/day wishing they were home with us and feeling so totally helpless to help them. This is not how it was supposed to be!! 😭😭😭

I see some other moms here who have babes in the NICU or babes who have just been released and it gives me hope that we are all strong mommas who can do this and that our babies will be all ok. But this is SO INCREDIBLY HARD! I need to be with my babies and they are in their little isolettes - it breaks my heart. I have no idea how to engage with family, friends and co-workers during this private time and I'm emotionally exhausted. Any words of support from you other rockstar NICU moms would be so helpful!! 🙏🌸😍