I grew up in a home where any intimacy/sex was viewed negatively. Very negatively. Like if I kissed a boy I would get slapped across the face kind of negative.

Fast forward to now, I've been with my boyfriend for two years and yes, we do the deed but I never know what to do and I don't know what I want or like so it's normally all him. He constantly asks me to take the lead or says he's tired of being the one to initiate anything but I can't help it. I don't want it to always be him I want to be sexy and confident but how can you when you have no idea what to do to reach that. It makes me feel like I'm not giving him what all he wants too. I get embarrassed if porn is even brought up (boyfriends suggestion). I just want to know if maybe there is some tips or tricks that will get me out of this mindset? I want to get out of this and start experiencing this part of my life that's been shunned.

I feel like I should add that during sex I make my mind wonder too