After 2 years of trying to conceive, we finally get pregnant. At 7 weeks we went for our first ultrasound. They couldn't see the baby. At what was supposed to be 8 week we went back for another ultrasound and to get the results of my blood test. They told me my HGC levels were going up put very slowly. Another ultra still no baby. They told me I had had a Blighted Ovum. My body still thought I was pregnant. The sac grew and i still had all the symptoms just no baby inside. Lasted about a month before my body realized there was no baby and i had a miscarriage. It was so bad. I lost a lot of blood. Passed out twice and was rushed to get a D&C. Had to get 2 blood transfusions. We have been trying again for a year and 4 months of clomid and nothing has worked.

Now im so stressed out. Ive become depressed. Im crying a lot every time my period comes. Ive even started to lose faith and question everything. Ive started to hate when people tell me "oh youre still so young" "ive knowen people who have gotten pregnant after 5, 10, 15 years of trying" "God has a plan for you". Like telling me this makes me so mad. I feel like ive lost my self in this journey. Today i finally told my self im done trying. Im done.! Id rather live a life with no kids and be happy than live a life where im stressed or depressed for something i have no control over. I just hope things get better from here on out. I don't want to be questioning God and doubting in my faith. I dont want to spend hours crying any more. I just want to be happy.!!

Thank you for listening to me venting. Writing this has helped me feel better.