I honestly need advice please don't look down on me or judge me

I fell in love with someone he's everything I would ever want come to find out he's married. at times he makes me feel wanted other times I don't hear from him. he invites me out and we get drinks, we update each other on how our lives have been going since we last saw each other then we get drunk and he makes out with me kisses me passionately touches on me hugs on me says all these sweet things to me then at a next moment he wants to be husband of the year saying all these sweet things about his wife posting all these sweet statuses on Facebook about his wife and how he loves her then when things aren't going well I'm the one he wants to come to when he can't sleep at night I'm the one he reaches out to when he's sad if things aren't going well with her I'm the first one he turns to this whole situation makes me sad because I really love him, I hate that he's taken and it hurts. I love him he knows I have strong feelings for him. I don't know what to do here. my heart is just broken.