Shattered and hurt

Hey guys I decided to vent this one out because I truly have no one right now. Recently my boyfriend of 10+ years told me he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. It all happened after a drunken night and he didn’t like how I acted when I drank a little too much and was a little chatty with his guy friend. I honestly didn’t mean no harm nor anything but he saw it as really wrong and the next day he was acting really cold with me. He’s usually very sweet and I found it so confusing that he was giving me the cold shoulder. I felt terrible because I didn’t know what was bothering him until he told me while he was on his way to work. And how he didn’t want to be together anymore. I’m completely devastated because I love him very much and I live with him. I’ve asked for forgiveness and that’ll never happen but he still doesn’t want to change his mind. I’m so sad and feel helpless. While living with him we still talk and share moments together but he doesn’t want to kiss me anymore. I miss his affection. I feel terrible and wish I could rewind time and not even have a drop of alcohol. I’m devastated he keeps telling me hurtful words how he can’t wait to be with other women. Those words just destroy me. I feel so stupid. My eyes fill up with tears because it hurts. I wish I can just rewind time and avoid all this mess.