Far away from home

This is my first Christmas since moving away from home. I’m not young, 27 years old. I’m not a child fresh out of high school who moved away.. I’m a grown ass adult who can’t control her emotions being away from everyone she lives apart from my husband. I miss my mom so much it hurts physically. Not a day goes by I don’t want to throw in the towel with my husband just to go back home. Finances are super tight this year so there was no way to go home for the holidays, and we can’t celebrate here either because we cannot afford it. My heart is so crushed. I don’t want to have these thoughts of giving up on my relationship just because his job made us move far away, but that’s what I’ve been thinking so a while now. I resent him and I know I have been mean to him because of I’m blaming him for me feeling this way. My depression and anxiety has gotten so much worse since moving and I have not been able to control my emotions, it’s taking a toll on our relationship. I feel like I’m never going to be myself again.