I guess it goes without saying that I struggle with mental health issues. I struggle with OCD and anxiety in general.

A little background information: before getting this job I was never a “I’m such a failure,” if I screw something up type of person, but ever since I’ve started that’s how I tend to feel when mistakes are made. But, I try to remember that there are bigger things to life than small inconveniences.

So last week I had the worst week I’ve had in a long time. Everything that I felt could have went wrong went wrong. For a total of 7 days, not including today and the last one or two as it hasn’t been as bad, I’ve been at the highest peak of stress I think my being can manage.

Not only did issues occur that in no way where my fault, but several other mistakes were made on my part that feel as if there were no preventing them. Overall, my stress stemmed from my interpretation of how I feel others must think about me and my mistakes. On my last day of work last week, before clocking out I had what I can only describe as a mini anxiety attack trying to assure I did not forget to do something important before leaving.

On top of these occurrences with work, general toxic home life and a (wonderful, amazing, spectacular) situation in which a man with road rage followed our car, approached our car and then proceeded to laugh as we drove away,

I broke then and there. I just had a full on mental break in which sobbing and hyperventilating were in on the party.

So, here I am a few days and two xanax’s later. I have work in about two days from now and I have no idea how I’m going to do it. My job really doesn’t require much interaction with others or energy in general assuming everything is running smoothly again, but I just don’t know how I am going to go back into the world still feeling the way I do now, which is an overwhelming feeling to sit in a corner and never leave my house.