I’m due with my baby now and I’ve been dilated to a 4 and 80% for over a week. Pre-labor every single night that never turns into real labor.

Each day I don’t have this baby is another day less my husband will be home to help me after he’s born (something he reminds me of constantly, as though I have control over it.)

Everyone I’ve ever known texting me constantly asking rudely when the baby is coming out as though it somehow is an inconvenience for them to wait.

Last time I went overdue but this time all everyone, including my doctor, told me is that I definitely wouldn’t pass my due date; that I’d be likely to go at 39 weeks due to how I was progressing. Well, due date is here and no baby once again.

Now I am starting to feel resentful due to all the anxiety and constant reminding. I am resenting my baby because he won’t come out, which makes me feel like a shit mom already. I am hating myself and my body for not just going into labor on its own like a normal person.

My anxiety for a c-section is so bad I would have to be put under due to panic attacks and that’s the last thing I want, but each day I get more frightened i will end up in that position due to having to eventually be induced or my water breaking without labor progressing any.

I just want to be happy and enjoy my baby and move on with life but I feel like I’m just stuck and everywhere i go, everyone i speak to, all they want to ask or talk about is when the baby is coming. I just want to shut myself up in a room and cry until this is over. 😢