Stressful birth, the worries continue

Cheri

I wanted a vaginal birth. She was head down and all my prenatal visits were textbook. No problems, no issues. She was head down and all I had to do was wait to go into labor. I went into labor at 39 weeks and the contractions were bad but not awful, but when they were close together we decided to leave for the hospital. We get there and long story short my contractions were erratic, the baby went into distress, I was put on oxygen, and the last ditch effort of giving me pitocin didn’t work and I was rushed to get an emergency c section. They got her out, she didn’t need to go to the NICU, she passed all her tests at the hospital, and so far her visits with the pediatrician have gone well with no problems. My obstetrician said the baby looked good on the monitor and that everything else looked good initially, but I can’t stop focusing on what problems she might have developmentally. Will she have brain damage or some awful brain problem? I keep beating myself up that maybe I should have gone to the hospital sooner but I was told to go when contractions were closer together. I’m worried it’s my fault she was in distress and thus my fault if she has problems. It seems she’s ok now, passing those tests, but what if we find out she isn’t later on? I keep crying thinking it’s my fault and hoping life won’t be hard for her because of the distressed labor. Does anyone have anything reassuring to tell me? Stories even? I’m consumed with guilt and fear and sadness.

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