Best early Christmas present ever! 🎄 👶

We're coming up on my son's first birthday, but I never got around to posting my birth story, and a year later seems like a good time to reflect on it. I’m a planner, and thought I had everything all mapped out, but that all got blown to hell. 🙂

A little background, I'm a single mother by choice, having decided at the age of 41 that I didn't want to miss my chance to be a mom, so I started pursuing getting pregnant through a sperm donor. Since I'd never tried to get pregnant before, both my doctor and I hoped it would be easy, but no such luck. After 2 years, 4 unmedicated IUIs, 3 medicated IUIs, and 2 rounds of IVF, my doctor suggested that I try an egg donor as well. That worked on the first attempt! Because of my age and the fact that I developed gestational diabetes, my pregnancy was considered high risk, so I was having a lot of monitoring. Ultrasounds once a week, and NSTs twice a week. Also, due to a very small pelvis, my OB had said I needed to plan on a c-section, that a vaginal delivery would probably fracture my tailbone.

My due date was January 3rd, but the doctor didn't want to risk me going into labor, so a c-section was scheduled for December 27th. On the morning of December 22, I went in for what I thought was my second to last NST. The nurse checked me in, got a urine sample, took my blood pressure, etc. and then strapped me up to the NST machine. A minute later the doctor came in and started chatting with me. This wasn't unusual, but he usually waited 20-30 minutes until the NST has some data. He asked how I was doing, and if I had my hospital bag in my car. I said no, and he asked how far away I lived. Not far, but my bag isn't packed yet, I was planning that for this weekend. He says "well, why don't you go home, pack a quick bag, and come back and head up to labor and delivery. It's probably nothing, but I want you checked out on their machines. Your blood pressure is a little high."

My eyes got huge, and I actually said no! I told him I can't do this today, my mom's not coming until tomorrow (since there's no dad, my mom was going to be with me for the delivery. She was coming down for Christmas and the baby was planned for the 27th.) The doctor just patted my hand and said "don't worry, they'll probably send you home. I just want to be extra careful. Just stay calm." And then he gave me a very reassuring smile.

So, I drove home, threw the most ridiculous things into the bag (I swear I packed everything but the kitchen sink), thought it was a good thing I had at least already installed the car seat, tossed a bunch of food at my cats "just in case" and headed back to the hospital. I went up to L&D told them what the doctor said, and they got me in a room, and attached to monitors. For the first time I saw my blood pressure. I don't remember anymore what the actual numbers were, but it was crazy high. I was still relying on the doctor's comment of "they'll probably send you home" and figured they'd just do something to bring my bp down. But then the midwife came in, and said "so, we're having a baby today!" "Uh, no." I responded. "Dr. Miller said they'd probably send me home." "Oh sweetie," she said. "He lied to you. He just didn't want you to panic. You have preeclampsia. That baby's coming out." My heart started pounding, my blood pressure monitor started beeping, and I literally burst into tears. The midwife asked what was wrong and I started babbling about how this wasn't the plan, my mom wasn't there, I wasn't ready, blah blah blah. She just assured me everything would be fine.

At that point, I took a deep breath and went into problem solving mode. I called my friend who had said all along that she'd come be with me if for some reason my mom couldn't make it. I called my mom, and my stepmother, and let them know what was happening. The next few hours are a total blur. My friend showed up, and kept me calm. Once she was there I was pretty much able to stop crying, and was starting to laugh at myself for thinking I had any control over when the baby came, or that it mattered. (I had somehow gotten it in my head that it was important that his birthday not be right *before* Christmas.) The weird things that I happen to remember are 1.) they had an incredibly hard time getting an IV in me (my arm ended up looking like I'd been beat up) and 2.) they came in and asked if I wanted my catheter inserted before or after the spinal block. I thought that was the stupidest question ever, and said I was pretty sure I wanted that done when I couldn't feel it. (I realized later that was probably more about not being allowed out of bed to pee.) Eventually I got wheeled into the operating room, got the spinal, and then everything seemed to start moving really fast. My friend was trying to be super supportive, saying nice things and stroking my hair, but all that just made me want to punch her. I finally asked her to please stop talking, and just hold my hand. And then it was like all of a sudden, boom, the doctor goes "here's your baby." The doctor sort of held him up, but from my angle all I could see was this tiny fist extended in the air. The nurse got him all checked out and they plopped him on my chest and he immediately started trying to breastfeed (having now known this child for almost a year I can say that was telling....eating is definitely a favorite activity, lol.)

We ended up spending his first Christmas in the hospital. The baby was perfectly healthy, but I felt like absolute crap, and my hemoglobin was dangerously low. I had to have 3 blood transfusions before they figured out it was a massive post-surgical hematoma. That wasn't diagnosed until like 2am on 12/26. So, ironically, we ended up going home on 12/27, the day I was originally supposed to deliver.

So it wasn’t the plan, but turned into the best early Christmas present ever!

Sean David

4:53pm, 12/22/2017

8lbs, 11oz

19 inches