Cheater ruined my Christmas Eve.

My husband and I have been married for 4 years and together for 7. We have two young kids together and I’m ready to leave him.

He cheated on me with a girl from high school two weeks ago. I know exactly who she is. They didn’t have sex but he snuck out of our house at 2 am to go spend time with her. He has also been going out for drinks at the bar where she works. His texts say shit like “love you babe”, “you’re beautiful”, and “thanks for holding me last night”. He doesn’t say those things to me anymore. I confronted him about it and he swore they were just friends. I ended up leaving and staying with my parents for a week. I came home because our kids needed their own environment again and my dad made me feel like a burden in his house. I told my husband he needed to go stay with family and he said no. We’ve been sleeping in separate rooms since.

He told me he wants to work it out but I’m not convinced anymore. He won’t go to counseling. He is still hard core into porn. He still Snapchats other women and talks to them more than me. I have zero self esteem anymore and I feel so ugly and so unwanted. My depression is bad right now and he tells me it’s all in my head and made up. He tells me he’s not a cheater and that this girl is just someone who’s there for him because I won’t be. I can’t do it anymore.

It’s Christmas eve and I asked him to watch a movie with me when the kids went to bed and hang out. We put the kids to bed, I got in the shower and meanwhile he fell asleep. I gently tried to wake him up and he told me to go away because he worked all day and deserved to go to bed. So without dinner, I came to lay down in my bed and cry. Here I am writing this and wishing I could just make it all go away. Our house is for sale and I pray someone buys it ASAP so I can move on already and be happy again. 😭