I want so bad what most of you have. 💔

I hate being spoiled with all this material shit when I'm so miserable with him. I don't know what I keep doing wrong. He just doesn't genuinely care for me and never did. I can be on my knees crying my feelings out for days and it makes no difference. He prefers his friends over me. He's rude to my face and thinks ots normal and funny. I'm such an idiot, I can't just let it go and walk away especially since I'm carrying his child now and have two girls who love him. I let the stupid small moments of happiness trick me. I have not a single friend to talk to.