When I look at my tattoos I remember how strong I am.

I suffered an early miscarriage last year on my boyfriends 18th birthday. Needless to say I was absolutely broken. On my 18th I decided to get a tattoo to remind me of my angel. I didn’t want anything too personal, so people knew what I had been through.. but I wanted something close to me. Something I know my angel is always close to me. As time passed I got a positive pregnancy test in January and my heart lit up full of joy. A week later I started bleeding and got a negative test. Again I felt like a complete failure to my partner and to myself. So more time passed and instead of grieving for my angels I carried on working as normal and pretending nothing happened. Which has now made me severely depressed. But that’s ok, because I’m used to it now. I’m used to feeling sad all of the time. I know I’m sad but I’m strong. I’m still going on after loosing 2 precious babies. I’m still fighting, I’m still trying. Which resembles the 2nd tattoo which I have had done recently there are 3 beautiful roses surrounded with dead leafs. The dead leafs show the mourning and the losses I’ve been through. And the beautiful larger detailed roses show how I’ve blossomed through the pain. I’m still in pain. I probably always will be. Loosing 2 babies is hard. I know I’m not the only one going through this. And I know I’m probably not even going through the worst. But that’s ok, because I’m aloud to grieve. And until my rainbow comes along I will still be sad and still be mad. But that’s ok. It’s all ok