Breaks my heart every time...

Almost two years we’ve been TTC. Five months away. We’ve been on our journey and been to doctors, now I’m taking fertility medication to boost ovulation although everything is normal. I am fertile, as is my hubby.

My family is so very supporting. Everyone wants us to have a baby, even those who don’t know we’re trying lol. When my Mom found out, she was... overjoyed, to say the least. I’m the baby of the family. My Mom has lung cancer and several other diseases due to her lupus... she’s not getting any better. We’ve all accepted that my Mom has a life expectancy, tried to accept it.... anyhow....

And because of that, my Mom all the time tells us she’d love for me to conceive “before she goes”. I can understand that because if I had any choice in the matter I’d be pregnant right now. She’s been there for my sister, all her 4 children. It’s only fair she’s there for me. At least for one child....

She writes us letters each and every Christmas to go with our cards. It’s always full of a bunch of things that make us cry, and of course my Mom puts in something about my journey. 😭 About how she would love nothing more than to be here for her “baby having a baby. You will be a mother, a great mom. I believe it will happen when you least expect it.”

Just typing it out. I’m ready to break down. I can’t imagine life without my Mom...

I went and got last years letter after reading it... felt emotional and she wrote something about us wanting a baby too.

Hit me harder that it hasn’t happened, felt my heart break all over again... and I’m hoping next year she’ll be writing a letter to me, and to her newest grand baby too.☹️💖💫