So I had an "episode" today with my depression. I'm on break right now and I don't have any friends so I haven't been able to distract myself from my feelings. I told my mother that I was feeling sad and wanted to go out somewhere tomorrow and she asked me why. I told her it was because i wasn't distracted so my sadness came through. The first thing she said was "you still didn't finish your paper so just play a game" And that really hurt me. Because I've told her time and time again for years that I needed professional help. Even my doctor has told her this but she just won't go through with it. It feels like the only time she listens is if I break down in front of her. Only then will she tell me that she'll get me the help I need. However she never does. Not once! I'm homeschooled so I've been trapped in my house with no one to talk to but her since we moved away for 6 years. Which is why I kinda have a love/hate relationship with her I mean she is literally the only person i talk to. When it comes to dentist, doctor, or eye check ups she takes forever to book them for me. But when it comes to my siblings or especially her stuff like that gets done in the blink of an eye. But I know it's not on purpose. Once she was diagnosed with OCPD I thought maybe she would understand me better and wouldn't brush off my depression anymore but nothing changed. Except now she's getting help and I'm not. Her counselor met with me once and told her I needed to see someone asap. I just don't know what it's going to take for her to get me some help! Sorry if I sound spoiled but I really needed to get this off of my chest....