i’m a horrible person

so last night i cheated on my boyfriend. i sucked some other guys dick and then i told him i needed to stop and then he asked if i wanted to fuck and i said no and kicked him out. the second he left i just started crying and called my boyfriend and told him. he was so pissed and started yelling at me. he told me he didn’t know if he should give me a second chance because his girlfriend before me cheated on him and she kept doing it. i’ve been apologizing so much and i will never do it again because i love him so much and i know someone will respond if u love him then you wouldn’t have done that but i really do i just don’t know what i was thinking. today he came over and wouldn’t say much. he says i need to stop apologizing because i’ve done it so much and me doing it more isn’t going to change anything. what else should i say to him? i’m really trying to make this right. i feel like the worst person ever and i just want him back. i would do anything to take what i did back

to amanda: i had no idea his girlfriend before me did this. he didn’t really talk about her. i was thinking about him while i was doing it that’s why i stopped and i immediately texted him that i was going to call him in a few minutes because i was sorry

to m: i wasn’t thinking before i did it. it was just kinda pressed on me and i know i can say no and i know i should’ve but i don’t really know why i started doing it in the first place. then when i started doing it all i could think about was him and how he would be so hurt if he found out i did this so i stopped. i needed to tell him because i wanted to be honest with him no matter if he wants to end things or he forgives me.

to maria: i know it doesn’t justify anything. i’m not trying to make excuses. i know i’m fucking horrible and shouldn’t have done this no matter what anyone else has done.

to everyone: i know i shouldn’t have done this and i know there is no excuse and i’m really sorry. i would do anything to take this back.