UPDATE: On December 31st, spotting began. It picked up within a few hours. And yesterday, January 1st, I lost the baby. My fiance and I have been handling it very well. I think us knowing it was going to happen has helped. And we've stayed pretty positive. I've had a few breakdowns,but have easily picked myself back up. Thank you for your kind words and awesome uplifting. They have definitely been a huge help in our healing process. Thank you,from the bottom of our hearts.

Last night my hCG levels were 24.3. Today I started cramping pretty bad and headed back to the hospital. My levels have dropped down to 16 in less than 24 hours. And now...now I just wait for my body to pass the baby. So many emotions. I've waited a year for this baby,my Christmas miracle, and now I'm losing it. I've had two healthy pregnancies before, never a miscarriage or a single complication. Why now? Why me?

I'm just ready to get it over it...How you ladies find the strength to go on after multiple miscarriages I will never understand. You are my true heroes.