it’s late again, I can’t sleep and I can’t stop sobbing, crying, hyperventilating. The feeling I get around the same time in the night, always this time. It’s 5AM to be exact and I’m too deep in thought. This feeling of sadness and loneliness...... this thought of not being any worth and being a cry baby. Being the weakling that everyone says I am. Being the burden that everyone makes me feel like. Ring the daughter that’s not good enough and can’t do anything on her own. This sorrow of guilt in my throat that forms knowing it’s all true. This PAIN I get piercing through my chest and lungs when I scream inhaling my breath cuz how much I’ve been crying. My mind and soul hurt from all these feelings while my eyes swollen from all these tears. All these years fighting to stay strong for myself and the people I care around me. My head can’t take anymore pressure from forcing the tears to stay in to stop from looking weak.

......

Am I the only one? Am I dreaming? Is this even worth to fight for? Why am I like this?

When will someone save me from this hell I’ve been experiencing, when will someone realize that this demon who’s been suffocating me under my mask of happiness and smiles...... is getting ready to swallow the rest of pretending that I have left..