okay this is a long story so buckle up! when I was in 5th grade I moved from dc to Charleston, I started going to a k-12 private school where 5th grade is apart of middle school. I met this guy, we will call him Jake. I was infatuated by jake, he was in the grade above me but he was still only a couple months older than me. Apparently he liked me too that year which I found out later. at this school camp we became partners for a game called sardines, it’s like the opposite of hide and go seek. He was my partner. Instead of playing the game we just walked around the campsite hanging out and talking about deep shit, the rest of that week we hung out all the time. fast forward to 6th grade, he started going to my youth group so I saw him every Sunday. we went downtown for this little competition thing, I don’t know how to describe it. But basically we had to do a bunch little task and which ever group got the most tasks done won. there was this one task where we had to trade a paper clip in for something else, asking a random stranger. The one dude gave us this tiny Dino, then we traded that in to this guy who was so sweet and went into Walgreens to get us a peep pillow, i was like I want that peep and I got it!! on the car ride back jake asked if he could lay on the peep on my lap, apparently at this time he didn’t like me but why wouldn’t he just lay on his friend that was next to him? Why did he need to lay on my lap? so he did for the rest of the 2 hour car ride. jump to 7th grade, every year our middle school goes to this other camp for a couple days. We all get assigned meal tables and he was at mine, we sat next to each other and talked for the whole time of each meal. I made him laugh, he made me laugh. that January we became really close friends over night. We shared things that we haven’t ever told anyone else before. we also had this dc trip, I was obviously extremely excited seeing as this was the place I was born. on the bus ride up, we drove through the night, I told him if he was up, I was probably gonna be up and he could text me. Somehow I fell asleep but I woke up at 3 am to see he texted me at 1 am. that rest of the week we hung out as much as we could, we hung out at the pool, at places for lunch, when ever we had the chance. me and him became really really good friends, and I honestly can say jake is my best friend. For the spring play we did Macbeth, and I got the role of lady Macbeth. During practices he would come watch me perform while he just sat there doing his homework. When I didn’t have a scene I would go sit next to him. One time when we were doing a dress rehearsal he took my crown off my head and put it on. He came to watch me during the actual production, he sat in the front row, we had this stage that had a platform running through the middle so there was three sides of the audience. During my death scene while I was going insane I looked at him and saw him smiling and then he winked at me. And after the production my sister, him, and my youth group leader came to congratulate me, while he was trying to act all cool but he gave me the flowers they bought for me. Later that night while we were texting he wouldn’t stop talking about great I was. that summer we went to the beach, I was obviously trying not to melt seeing him without his shirt on, sure he was only 13 but he worked out everyday. We also went to get Mexican once with his little sister (who’s freaking adorable) and he sat next to me in this tiny ass booth and we were just smushed together. fast forward into the school year, I would come watch his football games and we just got super close, we would text every night for hours. Jake lives in the Virgin Islands when he was very young and visited very frequently so I was like what if when you’re a senior we go there for a week! And he was so down. He also told me he loved me, as a friend of course. And we started saying it all the time. In September he started talking to this girl which at the time I didn’t know about. But one night while I was in dc this guy in my class was being super creepy and send me a shirtless pick and I was like “be gone thot” And I was send screen shots to jake because he’s my best friend. Jake started mocking him. He was like “do you want to see my beautiful muscles” and I was like “yes who wouldn’t” and he was like “dont tempt me Georgia I’ll do it nah I’m just kidding” and I was like “tempt” he was like “I’ll do it” and I was like “bet you won’t” so then he sends me a shirtless pick and I almost pass tf out. so I thought maybe he feels the same way? But when I got back to school he starts dating this girl and cuts me off completely. now the only times we talk we get in fights, he acts like he never called me his best friend or he never said he loved me and it just hurt so much. but for some reason my dumbass still likes him. his girlfriend is also extremely manipulative, she throws her self at other guys to make him jealous because she feels like he doesn’t give her enough attention, which is so fucked up. she also gets so so jealous, like I have never seen anyone get this jealous. she also leads this one guy on, and apparently they are like best friends. He likes her and Jake gets jealous about it and bothered by it, because she always wears this guys jackets and is always all over him. One time I was standing on the edge of the hallway entrance from the hallway to the gym. I was on the side of it, there was so much more room. But she decides to hit my shoulder with hers and then she goes “sorry not sorry” The thing is I really like her, but she’s toxic. And I can’t do anything about it. everyone knows how she is expect him, he doesn’t see it. But no one tells him, and everyone tells me I shouldn’t get involved, which I know, but I just care about him so much. it’s almost been 5 years and I still am not over him. I don’t know what to do