No birthday presents?

Question

So long story short, I have a MiL who just hates me and wishes her son would leave me. It seems like everything I do is wrong. I try to take constructive criticism but sometimes I have trouble separating the true criticisms from the mere spiteful words. So here we go. My son turned 1 on December 27th. The first week of December, wemoved across the country (finished school and moved home) and it was our sons first Christmas and birthday. We had very little spending money and thought "he's one so do the gifts really matter??". So for Christmas we wrapped up a box of his favorite cookies which he got excited about, a teether that he really has been needing, and we wrapped up my husband's old keyboard from storage because our son loves banging on the piano but it's hard for him to reach. With his birthday being 2 days later we didn't do gifts at all. Just a little happy birthday song and cake. Well, his parents show up and start tearing me a new one. (Husband was at work by this time). She was calling me selfish and a bad mother for putting my wants above my child's. I will admit I went and got my eyebrows done two days before Christmas as part of my husband's gift to me (a $20 gift card to do something 'just for me') and she argues that should've gone to my son's birthday present. It could be that I'm six months pregnant and hormonal but I've been off and on crying ever since. Should I redo his party? I don't want to be a selfish mom. I want to do what is right by my kids and bring about peace in the family. Thoughts? Opinions? I don't agree with how she came at me, but does she have a point?

Accepted Answer

Do not re do his party. Stand your ground. He’s one. Seriously. You gave him things he needs and wants and all that was really needed was your love 💕

Answer

No. Some people just have to always start something about nothing.  No one year old is going to remember the first birthday.  Try to let whatever she says go in one ear and out the other.  You don’t need that kind of negativity, especially being pregnant!

Answer

He’s a year old. He won’t remember his first birthday. You celebrated it with the song and a cake. Just because there were no gifts, doesn’t make you selfish. Your MIL needs to get a grip!!

Answer

Oh hell no.  I would have cussed her out and kicked her out of the house.  How dare she.  First of all it’s your child and you get to do or not so whatever you want.  Second, he’s one and literally will never remember his first birthday.  Third, people give little kids so many toys that they play with for a day or a week and show no interest in ever again.  It’s so wasteful and I’m already planning on telling my family not to get our baby lots of toys for that very purpose.  And finally, I hope your husband also gave her a piece of his mind when he got home.  The nerve of that woman.

Answer

Spending time and engaging with your child, and being a loving, attentive parent is more important than a ton of toys. There are millions of children in the world who wish for just that. Your baby will cherish that far more than a bunch of presents. 
Your MIL is a bitch.

Answer

My parents got me a cake for my first birthday and that’s it. No party, no gifts, nothing. And that’s how my birthdays were until I was 5 or 6. I’m totally okay with that. I mean, the baby won’t even remember anything at such a young age. And when they do? They will want to have parties with their friends. A birthday for a one year old is really for everyone but the baby lol. And I’m sorry, why can’t the grandparents throw the baby a birthday party if they are so butt hurt? You shouldn’t have to feel bad for getting your eyebrows done. Not like u went out and bought yourself a Louis Vuitton or something 🙄 your mil needs to chill. My mil is a pain too. Do what I do, in one ear.. out the other. She and I were raised very differently, and I don’t always agree with her ways. I listen, but I still do what’s best for me and my family. My family is MY RESPONSIBILITY. Not hers. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

Omg don’t let her make you feel bad and don’t redo his party. He won’t know what’s going on or remember it anyways! My son turns one in February and I’m probably going to tell everyone not to bring gifts because he just got a lot of toys for Christmas. Plus all the Christmas presents we got were from a second hand store because he won’t know the difference

Answer

No, your kid doesn't care at all.
Save that money for a time in life where he cares! It's really not important at all 😊

Answer

You are not being selfish. He doesn’t even know what a birthday is. Start when he’s two. Or three. There’s nothing wrong with skipping the first one. 
However, I have the same birthday, and what my parents have done is always make sure there’s something I’m not allowed to open on Christmas no matter how much I want to so I never feel overlooked on my birthday. I do recommend that, once he’s old enough to start having birthdays.

No birthday presents?

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