I’ll just start with saying I dont have a lot of girlfriends to talk to. Plus when it comes to my marriage I like to keep things between my husband and I. And this is why I’m posting anonymously and just to get it off my chest and maybe some help from other ladies.

I feel stuck. And alone in my marriage when I’m not.I LOVE him to death. He’s very laid back, really no worries or cares- which is good to an extent. But here’s my concerns - not gonna go through all of them because y’all will be sitting here forever reading. His friends. I know men will be men, but I feel like his friends take it to another level. They’re always talking about girls from their past or girls in general. But when my husband is around them or is texting in their group chat they have, it’s like he doesn’t respect our marriage I guess you can say. I don’t go through his phone because I trust him completely. I know he would not cheat or do anything behind my back. One day he left his phone screen up in that group chat when he went to another room really quick. I glanced and saw the guys talk about some girl that my husband hooked up with. I scrolled up just to see what they were saying. I see a text from my husband saying “ I would creampie *name* and *names* ass was magnificent. “ I automatically broke down because 1- why would you even talk that way and 2- it’s disrespectful. It’s not the first time him talking like that to his friends. I told him I couldn’t keep doing this if he keeps taking like that and asked how he’d feel if he saw my text talking about a guy finishing in me or something and he said he’d be upset. Plus the girls his friends are married to, etc and I don’t really click. They all grew up together and they have their own group. I’ve tried so hard to fit in with them but they just don’t let me in. My husband even sees it and understands why I never go out w him if they all go out somewhere. Other thing is his parents and I don’t really get along because they’re very childish. I mean VERY. They treat my husband like he’s 5 still and they just ruined our Holiday because we were at my parents “ longer” than we were at their house. Much more to that story and the past three years of us being together. Another thing is we were TTC but I put it off because of the doubt I have. When we’re off together and we don’t have plans we never actually spend time together. He’s in his man cave watching sports and I’m in our living area watching whatever. That’s why I feel alone. Just little stuff like this makes me doubt our marriage. we’re Christian and I’m atleast very into church and praying etc. and I like to believe that I’ll be married once in my life because I don’t believe in divorce. Just don’t know where to go or where to start. I’ve had conversations about everything with him multiple times but it seems like nothing is really clicking in his head. I want my marriage to work. I know marriage is not rainbows and unicorns but I just want the love and the fight for it. ❤️