I have never really seen myself as a mother. I've never been "baby crazy," hell, I've actually never even held a baby. I don't know how to talk to children. I feel so akward around them. I feel like I'd probably accidentally kill a baby if I were left to care for one. I'm 35, how pathetic is that? But it doesn't stop me from wanting a family. I want to learn. I want to have a child with the man I love. But I think our struggle to get pregnant may be mother nature's way of saying I don't deserve it.😭