About a year ago my biggest crush ever told me he couldn’t be with me because I had never ‘done’ anything to myself and was scared to “dirty” me so he friend zoned me. (Ik now he was the biggest jackass ever for other reasons) but one thing he said that has always stuck with me is that I’d never really know myself until I’d figure out what I want. Forever I was terrified of the thought of feeling myself out and doing that stuff but tonight I finally broke through the shame and did the deed and actually enjoyed myself and I’m selfishly happy that I could 😁 hallelujah!!! and happy new year!!!!