I’m 15 and I just had my first kiss with a random stranger at a nye party. He was kind of following me and my friend for a while and then we started talking after a while. (Keep in mind I was a little drunk). After the countdown he said “I never got my New Years kiss” to me and my friend. My friend was drunk too so she kissed his friend for a few seconds and that was it. I was kind of jealous that she was getting her first kiss that night and I wasn’t so because of the music and adrenaline mixed with the alcohol, I stupidly kissed the guy we were originally talking to. Except I wasn’t expecting him to start full on making out with me and shove his tongue in my mouth. I didn’t know what I was doing but he never pulled away so I didn’t either. This had been going on for about 20 seconds when I pulled away and told him we should stop (I finally realized I should’ve kissed him) but he didn’t listen and pulled me back in, I don’t know why but I didn’t fight it even though I was starting to get uncomfortable. Then he started grabbing my butt and then my boobs so I finally decided that was enough and pulled away. My friend probably sensed that I wanted to leave so she came up with an excuse to get us out of there but the guy kept trying to pull me back and kiss me but I eventually left.

It’s been almost 24 hours and I still can’t stop thinking about this. I’m literally disgusted with myself, this is so out of character for me but I was too drunk to control myself. I wanted my first kiss to be with someone special not with this random stranger who couldn’t even respect that I wanted to stop. I feel like a slut but I also feel completely objectified for letting this guy do whatever he wanted to me and not trying harder to get away from him. I don’t even know if I really wanted to leave that badly in the moment, I was so desperate for “the experience” that I lost all my dignity. I feel so uncomfortable and gross whenever I think about it. I can’t believe I did that. Have any of you had a similar experience? And what did you do?