So last September I found out my boyfriend of two years cheated on me in June. I decided to take him back because I really love him and I want to make it work with him. But now, my anxiety is through the roof and I’ve been extremely insecure ever since. I keep having nightmares about him leaving or sleeping with other girls. Whenever I try to talk about it he gets upset because he feels guilty and wants to put it behind him. I know that he feels guilty for it, but I’m traumatized by the whole ordeal. Whenever I talk to my grandmother about it, she tells me I need to stop being bitter about it. I’m not bitter, I’m terrified that it’s going to happen again.

The reason that he cheated is because I decided to stop taking my birth control because I was gaining a lot of weight and had uncontrollable mood swings. I didn’t want to be intimate until I got the hang of being off birth control, so he looked elsewhere. Now, since I found out in September, he’s starting to act distant and doesn’t treat me the same way as he used to.

Should I stop trying to make the relationship work or should I keep putting forth the effort and get nothing back? I want to be with him, but I’m starting to feel like he doesn’t want to be with me.

(And yes, I’ve talked to him about it multiple times now. Nothing has changed.)

This was the last picture we took together, in October 🙃