I feel like such a failure. This pregnancy wasn't planned. I'm almost 9 weeks pregnant and still have not made an appointment with a doctor. I've tried. Ive checked every medical center in my town, my partner's town, and every town in between. The cheapest appointment was going to be $300, and right now that's impossible for me to pay. I'm working on getting Medicaid, but it can take a few weeks to get everything done, and I realised after I submitted the application I didn't upload all the paperwork I needed so it's going to take even longer. I hate myself so much for failing my baby. I haven't even gotten to see him or her. I'm so worried that my inability to afford care early on will ruin this child's life and health. I bought prenatal vitamins and am taking them faithfully but that's the most I can do. I hate it. I hate myself. No doctor will do a payment plan. No doctor will help me. I've called midwives, too. I'm out of options, and I'm a failure.