Let's be honest

Everyone says

"It wasnt ment to be"

"They were such a perfect angel god had to take him or her back"

But no one unless you been through it even the men will never know the actual lose the actual pain of what it is like to lose a child during pregnancy whether you are 6 weeks or 26 weeks.

For me I instantly feel in love and knowing how he or she was growing was like a I was winning a the greatest reward every week.

But to have it all taken away... I have severe anxiety and now when we go out to eat go to the store I hear and see every baby child toddler it's like I'm a magnet to them... but I die inside everytime cause I look at those wonderful mothers holding their beautiful blessing like It was a future that didnt or wouldnt happen and kills me. And my anxiety my fear my sadness just goes from 0 to 60 so fast there are days where I just cry and cry cause I know it's the risk but could I ever actually live through that again.