My amazing son officially turned 6 weeks old yesterday and I love him so much! I had him via unplanned c-section after being in labor for 30 hours and pushing for around 3.5-4 hours. I ended up asking for a c-section as my son was sideways, I was only 9.5cm dilated (still confused as to why they were having me push if I wasn’t a full 10cm), and my heart rate was getting dangerously high while pushing as I was giving it my absolute all with each and every push! (I REALLY wanted to have him vaginally)

I don’t regret a single thing when it comes to how my son was born, as he came out absolutely perfect and has remained so ever since! However, I am getting those “what if” feelings again - like I did the first week we came home. I’m seeing all these people I know who had their babies naturally recently and I just can’t help but to think “Wow! I wish I could have done that for my son”.

I also ended up having to stop breast feeding after only a week because my son was having such difficulty latching that he ended up damaging my nipples to the point of blood and less flow of breast milk. He wasn’t gaining weight and I had to make the tough choice not to continue on, even though I really wanted to breast feed him.

Pretty much every plan I had for him went out the window when the time came ; I got (or attempted to be) induced, I got an epidural (didn’t originally want...in fact I was 100% against it), I had a c-section, I couldn’t continue breast feeding, and now we bed share (as safely as it possibly can be! He has some issues sleeping at night and it’s honestly the only way we get any sleep)

Again, I would I wouldn’t change a thing! I just wonder sometimes how differently I would have felt if I could have at least been able to stick to ONE thing I had planned for my boy.

Here are some pictures of my sweet guy. He is my absolute purpose in life💕