Lost the will...
I see so many women on glow symptom spotting, pouring over strips, feeling so hopeful this will be the month. I've just lost the will to even try anymore. Every month I fall into the trap of temping and charting and peeing on sticks, and every month it fails. I feel embarrassed for letting myself be hopeful. I feel foolish for being invested. I know I will never be pregnant, and I'm terrified of the journey leading up to that final acceptance. My husband is in denial, finds every reason to blame me: too much stress, stop worrying, see the doctor AGAIN, take clomid (ovulation isn't my issue. It's all unexplained). He says if I draw boundaries, I'm not committed. He accuses me of not really wanting a family because I don't want to pursue in vitro. I explain that I don't want to throw my entire life savings away on a 20 percent chance. And subject myself to pain and side effects. I also have a family history of Gyn cancer, so I prefer to about heavy duty hormones. He just gets angry and says he doesn't think I'm committed, and other women who sacrifice get babies as a reward. I feel my marriage slipping away and I am lost. He wants a biological child as do I. And I'm trying to accept the reality that this will not happen, and he resents me for coming to that acceptance.
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.