How to heal....

It has been 11 years since the last time I allow someone to emotional abused me....

Have to fill you ladies with some history:

Third time I met him I told him I slept w someone but it was over and so on.... He stopped talking to me for a week and he called me a week later and since then we continued dating and got serious. During that time every time he got jealous, mad, angry or we disagreed he brought that up and called me names. Some days he didn’t even talked to me and it got worse to the point he didn’t talked to me for a week or even more and we lived in the same house. He tread on leaving me many times until now I finally stopped him and told him to move out.

Yesterday he broke up with me after been together for almost a year. His stuffs are still at my place yet he took some of it.

Even until yesterday he was blaming me and making me feel guilty that I was the reason why we broke up. I did this to myself. I’m always a hurting him. I’m a fucking lier. I’m a whore because I did a whore thing when we weren’t not even together nor stablished if we were dating.

I did everything when I say everything I mean everything and I or it wasn’t enough for him. He couldn’t fix the bed or help me shit on his days off not even bother on asking if I needed help. I work two jobs and still when home and took care of him like if he was a baby.

I can’t find the answers on how to heal myself up after this brake up. I’m mentally fuck up to the point that I have lost my confident, my personality isn’t the same and I was always happy and smiling. I’m forcing myself to keep my chin up and continue moving but it is so hard. I let him broke me in pieces, I let him took over my mind, I let him manipulated me to get his way. I let him dictated my life and control it how ever he wanted just because I wanted happy and I thought by making him happy I was going to be happy. What a stupid person I am, I even got to the point that I was telling myself you deserve it because of what you did to him when y’all just started talking 🥺

I’m not a saint but he deff took advantaged of me just because I was honest to him that day.

Why come back and take a year of my life😪 it just suck.