Do you wish you hadn’t waited?

Question

Hey ladies. I’m 36, married a year and a half and currently TTC our first. I know that everything happens for a reason, but a lot of the time I find myself wishing this all had happened sooner for me, and having negative thoughts about being the ‘old mom’. I know women have been putting off starting a family in recent years, be it for their career or whatever reason, but I just can’t help feeling like being the age I am is going to work against me as a parent. Like, I’m already TIRED. It’s a struggle sometimes for me to get dinner on the table for just my husband and I! And I wonder how I’m ever going to keep up with a child. I also have anxiety about the kid I haven’t even conceived yet not having a group of kids to hang out with since most of my friends’ kids are toddlers already. Not to mention how ill still be in the school drop off lane while my friends’ kids have flown the coop. Is it selfish of me to think this way? Does anyone else have thoughts like this or is it just my over active anxiety?

Answer

I’m 39 and still feel too young to have a kid (20 weeks pregnant with my first). I think being older just means we know how much is at stake. But it also gives us wisdom. What we lack in energy we’ll make up for in patience, I hope!!

Answer

Old mom?! 😂😂
I had my first at 39 and I’m due with my second in 2 weeks, at 42. 
I wish I had more energy, yes. But I’m FAR better equipped to be a mom now, emotionally, financially and otherwise, than I was 10-15-20 years ago. My priorities are right, my security is in place, I’m a more patient and invested mom, and I’m just generally a more mature, stable, happier person.

Answer

Wow we are exactly the same!!! 36 and married in July of 2017. It can’t turn back time but I remind myself of all the things I got to do as ME before I was Mrs. and Mom. I got my masters at 25, lived in a big city 100% independently, traveled, and dated what seemed like a hundred terrible guys who can’t compare to the husband I waited for, and the father he will be to our twins in August. We will be more experienced in life and fulfilled personally, so we can be the best moms ever. You going to do great!!

Answer

I’m 36 and pregnant with my first. My mom was 38 when she had me and my dad was 41. I don’t think I ever thought twice about them being “older parents” while growing up. I didn’t notice any difference in my parents compared to my friends.  I think being a little older is a good thing too.  I feel more prepared and ready then I ever was in my twenties.

Answer

Sometimes I wish I hadn't waited so long. I've just turned 35 and miscarried my first baby in December. Most of my friends have had their second child. I'm panicking that time isn't on my side but then I remember why I have waited. I was with my ex for 11 years but we drifted and I realised that we were heading different places. It was only after we separated that I came to terms with this being the reason I had stayed on birth control. I knew deep down he wasn't "the one". I met the love of my life 2 years ago and we will be exchanging on our new house soon. I have a successful career and am financially secure. I had my twenties to get my degrees, party and go travelling and I loved every minute. I am in a far better position to bring up a family in my 30s and have the best potential daddy! I just wish I'd found my lobster earlier and I feel young at heart xx

Answer

I was 36 with my first. Now I’m 37 with my second. I always wonder if pregnancy  would’ve been easier on my body when I was in my 20’s, but as a mom I feel like I’m in a way better place. My partner didn’t come along until later in life, but he is by far the only man I’ve been I would have wanted to raise kids with. I spent my 20’s and early 30’s “doing me”. I have an amazing career I love, I went to school, and I built a life I’m proud of; the best part is when my daughter came along I wasn’t questioning who I was, or if I wanted anything else from life. I thought life was perfect, but She just made it perfect in a way I hadn’t dreamt of.

Answer

I’m 36 and will be 37 by the time this baby is born. My husband and I have been married for 10 years. I’m pretty sure everyone had almost given up on us having kids, even though we were clear that we wanted them, we just didn’t want them yet. Sometimes I wish we’d started a little earlier, but most of the time I’m just grateful for all of the things I’ve gotten to do steady that I wouldn’t have if I’d had kids earlier. And I’m so thankful that I’ve had so much time with my husband to just be US before we add a kiddo in. I feel like our marriage is more solid and we’ll be infinitely better parents for it. There are so many different paths to parenthood!

Answer

There are times when I wish we would have had ours sooner, but honestly, we wouldn't be in the same (good) situation as we are financially, career-wise, good choice, etc. 
I do still struggle sometimes as a working mom balancing my drive to continue advancing my career AND be a good mom. That being said, that balance would have been a whole lot more difficult 5 years ago, even 3... I'm at a place where I can coast with my job (I mean not look to move up, not slack.. lol) so I can handle the balance.

Answer

No regrets in the slightest.  We live in a high cost of living area and having a kid below 30 would have killed us financially.  We are expect our first at 37 and 35 respectively and we are light years away financially from what we were in our 20s and early 30s.  I am even a stay at home wife.  We also have a house and we are able to travel and set up a college fund.  No joke, but I literally have more energy now than I did in my 20s.  I have way more confidence and grew some hypothetical balls to tell people “no”.

Answer

I had my first at 21, second at 24, third at 34, now having my fourth at 37. All the same dad, all planned. Life just worked out that way.
Pregnancy and recovery were much easier in my 20s, no doubt about it--and I definitely don't regret the timing of my first two.. but what my first two gained from my youthful energy, I think my last two will gain from my wisdom, patience, and perspective.
No matter what phase of life you're in, you have something valuable to offer your child.

Do you wish you hadn’t waited?

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