My BF physically and mentally abuses me... tonight we were sitting on the couch watching a movie and he got a pillow and hit me in the throat with it. I knew he did it as a joke cause he was laughing and stuff but he didn’t understand when I told him it hurt and he called me a crybaby ass and was faking crying. It really upset so I started to walk to the bedroom and he followed and put me in a choke hold and he lifted up and bent my head to my chest and it was cutting off my air way. So to try and get him to stop I slapped him in the balls (i didn’t want to hurt him and he even admitted it didn’t hurt) but he got even more angry and grabbed my shoulders and threw me from the dining room to the other side of the living room. It scared me and he had his hands in fists and was coming towards me and I kept telling him to stay away and was pushing his chest away as he was trying to grab my arms he said “oh you think you’re so strong” and then he bent me over the couch and was dry humping me and telling me that “he was gonna fuck me”. I was able to get my foot under his nuts and lift up a little but then he grabbed the part of my arm but my armpits and squeezed (my left arm still hurts to move) so I slapped him to make him let go of my arm. He started pushing me in to the couches (I have a bruise on my leg) Then he started yelling at me and told me I’m a stupid bitch, that he wishes I was a guy right now, how much he wanted to hit me, that he doesn’t even know why he’s with me etc. then 10 min later asks me if I’m done being a butthole. I told him I think we either need space or break up. He freaked out again telling me to pack my shit that nothing’s stopping me. I go to the room and he comes in trying to hug me and I told him to stop and go in the other room and that I needed time. Then he went on to say that none of this would’ve happened if I wasn’t so insecure (not even relevant to why we even fought). I’m just lost and hurt. I don’t know what to do and I think I’m pregnant cause I’m late and have had many symptoms. I’m just scared to test because it’s just gonna make things even harder right now (I would keep the baby no doubt about that) I just don’t want to bring a baby into this life. I just need advice. I know y’all are gonna say to leave him but it’s a lot harder to actually take action in it when we’ve been together for so long. He used to be so sweet... I just keep hoping he’ll change back to the way he was...