This is super long sorry. Most of it is probably unnecessary but I don't know how else to explain the situation.

Background of our relationship: I'm a uni student he is in college. He lives at home with his parents. I live in a house at uni (3 hour drive away by the coast) but stay at home for holidays. We usually see eachother just on weekends and I try to make the most of our time together.

So this Xmas break I had 3 weeks off. The first week I booked my bf and I a holiday to Amsterdam. We had a great time. We went out everyday. Even though we only got to do one of the things I planned. I had fun. We at least left the flat.

The second week I had I visited his family and stayed with him I only stayed with mine Xmas evening. I stayed at his place the rest of the week and we barely went out other than getting a drink with his parents. Like we didn't even leave the house most days.

The third and final week I became irritated by how little we were doing. I felt really stuck in his house. He would always be too tired to go out. But go to bed at 4 am and wake up at 12. He wouldn't come at bed with me at 10 pm and would refuse to even start doing things til about 2pm. So wouldn't be ready to leave the house til around 4pm when it's already dark. But everytime I said I wanted to go home he would get defensive. And if I suggested doing something at mine, like seeing my grandad or walking the dog or going to the only good places I know to eat all near mine which is 2 hours away by bus. He would say it's too long and he has work to do and then he would send me home.

My breaking point was when he told me that he wanted to go trampolining with me. I agreed but said he should plan it so I know he actually wants to go. When I asked the next day if he planned it. He said he didn't. So in like 5 minutes I found a place and sent him details. Come 1:30pm when we were going to meet to go he calls asking for details. I give him them again and at this point I must have been a little annoyed. he cancelled as soon as we got off the phone and he says he cancelled because I sounded annoyed on the phone and that 2 hours to mine then traveling to the trampolining would be too long. So we don't go. I spend the day with my grandad and walking the dog

He texts me that night that I should come see him at his. I say I don't feel like it. And he gets annoyed says I'm being annoying. When I didn't feel like traveling for 2 hours just to go to sleep alone in his bed while he stayed up playing games. he wouldn't travel to see me so we could actually do something together 🙄.

The next day was nye. I tell him if he wants to see me he should plan something. Barely any response til around 5pm he tells me to meet him In an area and suggests we go out to see fireworks tonight. I think yay he has finally decided on something to do. Get there, wait 35 minutes for him. Then he shows up and asks me what I want to do 😩 I have to beg him to pick somewhere to eat which takes another 15 minutes and honestly him just deciding somewhere to eat made me super happy.

Dinner ends. Its nye, we should do something tonight to celebrate. He suggested fireworks. I look up places to see them for free. And we agree on a place but have a few hours so agree to go to his place to grab a few drinks.

We get to his place. We get some drinks and play a few games with his family. Come 11pm. Its time to leave for the fire works his family has all left the house. And I say we better get going. He then says its too far and he can't be bothered. At this point I get pissed off. I ask him what does he want to do then if the fireworks are too far. He says he doesn't know and asks what I want to do. I start telling him exactly how I feel. Every plan I make he turns down. Everytime i try to do something with him he refuses. What am I meant to do? I want to spend time with him. I want to do things with him. Not just sit there twiddling my thumbs for hours. After I say that he says if I'm going to be like that I should leave and that I'm making things toxic ect.

Am I being toxic by wanting him to put just minimal effort into doing something with me? Toxic to have him appreciate me trying to do things with him?

I'm really trying and I don't know what to do anymore. He keeps cancelling on me and letting me down. At this point I can't even be bothered to get my hopes up.

Even now he was meant to come with me to my uni house for the weekend but was running late and even though my dad offered to pick him up on the way he couldn't be bothered. 😔